We All Need More Sick Days

Seriously, Google and Yahoo need to stop scaring me into thinking I have rare and strange diseases. My newest hypochondriaction (I made that word up, why this isn’t a word beats me) is to the Kleine-Levin Syndrome (also known as sleeping excessively, eating excessively, and having a lot of excessive sexy time). When you can answer like yes to most all of the symptoms I think I may have a problem, or I’m just super lazy, fat and horny. That could also be it but I’d like to think those are more symptoms than problems.

Just because I may sleep till noon (and if I don’t have to go any where sometimes 1p) on my days off and like to scarf down carbs in excess, someone’s got to label it and scare the bejesus out of you. I think it’s because they’re jealous more than actual scientificy doctors. But I need back up. Is it really not normal to sleep till noon after you’ve grown out of teen years? Why are carbs so delicious? Why do they tempt me with their crunchy nacho chips and whiz cheese? Is there a limit to sexy time one must abide to?

Or are the doctors all done with scaring up some business with that whole pflu thing they have to find more bizarre diseases to spring on the public? That’s probably it. All profit for the doctors and there’s probably a kick back to Google and Yahoo for making everyone so scared. The internet sometimes can be a frightening place.

(Sorry if this offends anyone with the real Kleine-Levin Syndrome, secretly I'm envious of you.)

I Got Art

The Hubs got me a Valentines gift even though we said we weren’t going to exchange gifts this year. He said he got it for me because he knows I’ve had a rough patch with the boo hoos and wanted to cheer me up. He’s so wonderful. So what did he get me? Well, remember a while back when I visited him in San Diego and had to be a big girl and drive on the freeway? Well, while there we visited some fancy schmancy art galleries and we both totally fell in love with Robert Deyber and his literal lithographs. So while the he was away on business down there he picked up this little gem for me.


It’s called Bad Hare Day. Isn’t that just too cute? Yes, it's a bunny setting houses on fire. I think it's fitting since I work for Ittybitty Town fire department and all. You should totally check out his site he’s got hundreds of these things and they are all really funny.

It’s hanging proudly on my half painted, half mudded, half renovated wall in my hallway. I also love Edward Hopper’s Rooms by the Sea (hint, hint, Hubs.) There’s also this picture with a little girl with a bear on a leash walking through the forest that I like too but I don’t know who makes it. When we first got together the Hubs and I went wild with Ansel Adams all over our house. I’m tired of looking at black and white so it is just so wonderful to have actual ART on the wall. And the Hubs is home so I actually got some sleep that was not alcohol or drug induced so I’m feeling pretty reenergized.

Next step is planning Bernie’s goodbye party.

Fresh With Even More Random

• I wonder if the spider in my bathroom was nocturnal. He moves to different places every day. I found him by the door, by the toilet, and by the trash can. He mistakenly crawled into the tub this morning. I’ll miss that little spider.

• No one can answer if skunks have opposable thumbs. There even seems some wide debate about raccoons having opposable thumbs too. I bet if raccoons win this and are declared opposable thumb users then skunks will soon follow. It’s really because raccoons are cuter and smell nicer than skunks. They’re like the cheerleaders of skunks.

• I’ve come to terms with getting Bernie fixed. Actually I’m just looking forward to the time off work and the extreme amount of Vicodan I’ll be getting. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to have my iPhone next to me so I can keep everyone updated on my inebriation.

• The Hubs finally comes home tomorrow. It’s a good thing because the dogs have run out of dog food and instead of going to the store and hauling the 50lb dog food bag down the death driveway I’ve considered just feeding them the cat food. Is this ok? Will they start meowing?

• Some people are perverts. Hi perverts! *Waves* My keyword analysis on my blog has shown me that 70% of the people landing on my little corner of the internet are actually searching for pregnant bellies porn. Although I totally advocate free porn on the internet, sadly, you won’t find any here. Unless you count the fact that Froggie likes to strut around without any clothes on then, well, go at it frog porn people. (Secretly I can’t wait to see how many people get here by searching for frog porn.)

• The rest of the people that accidently take a gander of BBT have been searching for “I coughed on…” and “shy bladder”. (I feel for you coughers and shy bladders I totally understand the need to spread disease and going potty in public restrooms scares me too). It makes me realize I must expand my horizons in my writing escapades and maybe try not to be so open about my bodily functions.